48 Hours Till The Halfway Point

This Wednesday I'll get Round 6 which marks the halfway point. I hope my blood counts will be high enough to receive this next chemo treatment but I'm worried. I have not had one single day after Round 5 that I can say "I felt good all day." Each day is a battle against fatigue at varying degrees. I can hit the "wall" suddenly when I feel my legs will collaspe and I'm on the verge of passing out. I'm so tired today and know I have no energy in reserve. I'll do something and then have to sit until I have the energy to get up and do something else. I'm about to give it up and just spend the rest of the day sitting and reading. It worries me to think how this next round will hit me. I don't like the thought of skipping a treatment as I'm so anxious to get to the finish line in June and end this experience which feels like I'm stuck in a "nightmare" at times.
I look forward to tasting food again someday. Everything tastes bland with a little hint of what I remember it used to taste like. Chocolate is out of the question. It tastes so bitter. My favorite peanut butter and jelly sandwiches which I used to eat almost every single lunch time leaves a metallic taste in my mouth. Duane and I have always enjoyed sharing a package of Zingers but they taste like chemicals to me now. I hope I don't balloon out when I finally get my taste buds back.
My hair keeps falling out. I've always had so much hair that if you didn't know how much hair I had before you wouldn't notice the amount I have lost. I wonder if I'll look like a Chia Pet when it starts growing back. The skin on my hands is peeling away from the drugs. I guess that's another side effect. I've had to start my third round of antibiotics for diverticulitis because it keeps coming back. I guess I can take comfort in knowing that the chemo is doing it's job and I hope I don't have to go through this ever again. I look forward to being clear-minded each day and not just here and there. I'm mentally in a haze most of the time and try to appear normal. I've really appreciated the beautiful weather we have been enjoying. It really helps to lift my spirits and I so look forward to enjoying the flowers of spring. Looking for the blessings each day helps me from plunging into depression. Some people say "one day at a time" for me it's "one foot in front of the other" most days.