Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Side Effects........Frustration
What beautiful weather to lift our spirits! I just wish it lift my frustration with the side effects of chemo. It seems with every treatment comes something new. I feel the circulation has been limited to my legs and they just ache. That's neuropathy. I kept waking up last night to move them and get some feeling back to them. When I rolled over I was met with a sharp pain like the ones I experienced during a bout with diverticulitis. I still feel like in a "chemo cloud." When I'm in this cloud I feel like I'm "under the influence" and I'm struggling to appear normal to everyone. I don't feel like I'm thinking very clearly. Just walking around in a haze. I hate it!! The neuropathy makes my legs feel "shaky" when I'm walking around. During my sleep I had the sensation that "explosions" where going off all over my body. I sure hope it's the chemo killing cancer cells!! I'm just praying that the chemo won't permanently damage any of my organs or nerve cells. During these very frustrating days when I wish I could do so many things and don't have the energy or stamina to do them, I try to concentrate on what I can do and be grateful for that. Frustration just keeps getting in my way.
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4 comments:
Hi Yo,
It's Jessica Ellingson. I happened upon Jessy's blog and saw your link. It was funny because I was just thinking about you yesterday. All the fun young women's stuff we did, and going to the Union Gospel Mission. And how kind you were to me. You were the first person to talk to me about having a Heavenly Mother and that made such a difference to me. You played a huge part in making a difference in my life, and I love you for that. Sending hugs to you! Jessica
Aunt Yo,
Since learning of your diagnosis and our communication, my mind is consumed by thoughts of you. When I feel as though i'm struggling through a day, a moment, I wonder what you're struggling through today, tenfold I know. Sending optimism and prayers your way.
Love
Wendy Jolliff
Remember Mom it's a marathon not a race. Little by little you'll get to that finish line. I'm glad that I've been able to talk to you the last couple of day but how come my phone is ALWAYS dead?! I need to get into a better habit of recharging that thing. Love you.
Hey Yo Mamma....
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