Tears.......the great stress reliever

I had to chuckle today. As I was going through my purse I found my little emesis bag. I wouldn't leave home without it now. I was never a Girl Scout but I raised three boys in the scouting program and believe in being prepared.
It's been four days since I finished my last treatment. I spent Saturday and Sunday in bed. The fatigue is overwhelming. On Monday I was back in to get fluids for dehydration and will continue getting them till Thursday. By then I hope to start getting some of my energy back. I don't think I'll regain the energy level I had before chemo until I'm completely finished with treatments.
As I laid in bed I became aware of the stress building up. The frustration of not being able to accomplish anything except taking a shower. My mind felt so hazy I couldn't even think of reading to pass time away. I could feel my body tense up as the frustration built up. What always worked before certainly could not be applied now. I can't get on a treadmill, hike to the top of Pilot Butte to relieve what I was feeling. The only thing left to do was cry. And so I let the tears flow. At first I berated myself. I should just "toughen up." But it was a relief to let those tears flow and emotions out until I was too worn out to be awake anymore and I could sleep.
I told me husband that this road to recovery it going to be paved with a lot of tears. He just hugs me and comforts me. Tears are serving to tenderize my heart for all those going through similiar trials. It was during one of those "stress relieving" moments during the night that I had a thought come to me that said "You can't learn the lessons I have to teach you any other way than this way." As I keep looking for the lessons I'll keep expressing my gratitude for my family, kind friends and especially to know that my Savior has a purpose for me. This is not all in vain.